I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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