I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
