I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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