My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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