from now on my penis is your penis
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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