I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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