I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
