this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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