I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
