Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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