he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
