Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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