uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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