We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
