I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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