Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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