So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
That reminds me...we need to get swords
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
