5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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