One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
