She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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