i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
