Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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