i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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