tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
