i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
