Sponge bath it is.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
