i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
