I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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