What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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