His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
