Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I want a musical about memes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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