I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
