Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
