I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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