First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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