Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
