Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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