while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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