The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
