on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
