Pappa wants mamma naked
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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