Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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