i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
