remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
