My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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