My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize