I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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