Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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