Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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