No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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