Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
