her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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