It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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