This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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