I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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