it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
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She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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