Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
