two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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