I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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